If you're a United fan...

...you should really read this. Copy pasta'd from a comment of this post on Republik of Mancunia.

Cyril Sneer says [June 13, 2011 at 17:37]:

Oh dear, our friend Kenny isn’t too happy with me…

Kenny: Sneer! ya fuckin’ bastard that ya are! What the fuck are ya fuckin’ daein’?

Cyril: What? Who are you?

Kenny: It’s Kenny Dalglish ya fuckin’ cunt ya, King of Anfield! What the fuck are ya fuckin’ daein’ taking Phil Jones? He was mine!

Cyril: Don’t you talk to me like that Kenneth, I remember when you were just a little cunt running up and down outside our house, running a stick over the railings.

Kenny: Fuck ya! What fuckin’ right huv ya got messin’ with mah fuckin’ transfers?

Cyril: Your transfers? Phil’s not a cunt, he knows who the best team are and he wants to win medals. Why would he want to play with all your losers?

Kenny: Ya cannae talk to me like that ya cunt! Ya fuckin’ wee bastard! Naebody fucks wi’ King Kenny!

Cyril: Well perhaps if you took a little more care in your appearance and laid off the booze someone *might* fuck with Kenny and then you wouldn’t be so irate or miserable all the time.

Kenny: Ya really think so? Wait, yuir tryin’ ta trick me ya little bastard! Jus’ you wait, we’re gonna destroy youse cunts next season! Ahve lined up some players that’ll rip youse cunts a new arsehole!

Cyril: Oh? that would be the mighty Henderson would it? Or Clichy? Surely you don’t think we’re scared of tubby Adam?

Kenny: Fuck ya, ya cunt! Ahve foond this lad John Barnes, he’s gonna rip youse bastards apart! And wee Rushie can get me 500 goals easy. You wait ya cunt, next year is oor year!

Cyril: Barnes and Rush? Errr, you do know they’re a million years old right?

Kenny: Fuck off! You’ll see when we play youse, we’re gonna pish all over ya! Rushie’s gonna get 50 and Crouchy is gonna get another 50 and we’ll beat you 100-nil!

Cyril: Crouchy? I can see why you make the mistake but that’s not Crouch, it’s Andy Carroll.

Kenny: Fuck ya! I know ma ain players! We’ll show youse cunts who’s the best team! Aye, we’ll beat ya good and win oor 20th title while youse cunts can stay there on 7!

Cyril: Kenny… you do know this isn’t 1980 right? We’ve got 19, you’ve got 18. That’s one less than us and we’ll be winning our 50th by the time you get 20.

Kenny: Fuck! What? Not 1980? Stop messin’ with mah heid ya cunt! Next season we’ll show all o’ya! Naebody fucks wi’ the fuckin’ Liverbirds! Naebody fucks wi’ King Kenny!

Cyril: Right.. you’re obviously insane so I’m going to put the phone down now.

Kenny: Aye, thas’ it ya cunt! Gae fuckin’ runnin’ back ta ya boss and tell ‘im ahm gonna fuckin’ fuck all a youse cunts up even if I play masel! aye! thas whut ah’ll dae! Ah’ll play masel and scoore a milion goals against ya!

Cyril: Yeah.. you do that.

*click*

I need to lie down now.

This joke made my day. Thank you very much, Cyril for this awesome joke. Welcome, Phil Jones and 20th title, here we come!




P/S: I miss you too, NAme... But, being busy doesn't help much.